Fightnin' A God

So a friend of mine is designing a system to go with a setting, the "Monster Hunter Game" as he's called it. Yesterday we ran it to test out some of its stuff. Except we adapted 3 other settings to play in it since there were no characters ready. We had a 4e D&D rune priest, another system's character, and a Space Marine from Deathwatch. The visuals were changed a bit so it wasn't a half-troll, orkoid, and an Adeptus Astartes running around a near-future Miami killing the beasts mankind wasn't meant to know about.

So we had the Rune Priest who became a half-troll (Norwegian lore) and a Shamanistic type character who relied on blood magic and the fact he was an 8 foot tall regenerating troll. We had an orkoid who was ex-military, fused with a cursed sword that stole swords, he cast spells with his sword. We had Ishmael of the Dark Angels, who was a Vatican (as opposed to Irish, American, or South/Central American) Catholic Inquisitor in the game's lore with a crusader's holy sword, magic vambrace, sawn off break action 12-gauge that so happened for fire holy rosewood flechettes and a silver slug encasing a saint's bone fragment; and wearing super awesome holdy ballistic armor. So I was specialized to hunt heresy and fight Judeo-Christian evils, being less effective against other things.

So we began the game in a gay bar in Miami. This is where I became skeptical. We were investigating a cult that had been abducting and ripping the hearts out of young attractive males.

Not your standard DnD tavern party start.

With literally three 7 foot tall men in the shadowy corner of a bar, all armed with a large melee weapon, concealed or not. The police report of the one sighting of a culprit was that he was Polynesian and had spiral tatoos on him. This was legitimately perplexing. We began to notice patterns, however, in the bar, namely that the walls had spirals hidden in the wall paper design and everyone was dancing in a spiral shape. Our troll begins to look for nefarious activity and sees a guy off in a corner fiddling with something. Ishmael marches up towards the center of the spiral. Our orkoid grabs the DJs boombox and leads a conga line out of the bar. All but two individuals stay, we were only aware of one somehow, and while the troll goes after the seated man, who was packing his things away; Ishmael goes after the center man who was conveniently in the back of the line.

Ishmael grabs the dude and lifts him up and begins demanding information, like you do. The man doesn't know anything so he goes to render him unconscious but due to bad timing and the GM deciding that much damage can't be nonlethal (totaled 25 damage), so Ishmael's fist goes through his face, and brain... and skull. He decides he went too far and props the body up bext to the front door, presumably behind some fake shrubbery.

Our troll then makes it to the guy who is sat down and questioned, Ishmael joins him soon after, and questions him again, face versus table style. Turns out the guy is just a casual collector of supernatural lore, and investigating the same issues we are. We have a laugh, render him unconscious and steal his files with a flash drive. Get up and turn to see the bar tender, who saw everything. They bound to the bar, Ishmael hefts up the bartender, they question him about security cameras, disable them and erase it all, then render the bartender unconscious.

They then leave. Cut to the conga line out into the street.

So there was at least one group that was having fun!

Turns out the orkoid had the charisma and ability to mess with people's short term memory, i.e. like most magicians do today. He had been casually and gradually lowering the volume to disperse the crowd. But he began looking around as they conga danced down the city streets in Miami. He spotted a cultist in an alley trying to sneak up who had a bat with black stones arrayed in it and spiral tattoos all over his face. So he turned to the guy behind him shoved a boombox in his arms, rolls Persuasion and say "I was never here." and it works, so he proceeds to hack off the head and arm and bat off the cultist right off.

He collects the head, arm, and "hilt" of the baseball bat-sword and headed off to our hotel. Along the way he stops at a convenience store, and ends up killing the clerk and keeping her head. It was then that I realized I would probably have to deal with him too. He meets us and discards the extra head beforehand, and we try to work out how to deal with having fresh body parts... so he and the troll burn down the hotel, taking a picture of the cultist's head and leaving it to burn. And we separate to head to the harbor to where a black market for relics is held in a ship.

It's here we find that the ritual is happening all over the world, and that the cultist was 800 years old. And owed the old Asian man $83.70, which he wondered if he had it on him, we said we didn't have the body. Ishmael met with a Vatican contact and then we headed to Mexico city, I made a Intelligence roll to surmise (confirm metagame player knowledge) the bat-sword had obsidian and it was based off of the Aztec type weapon. We "borrow" a Hummer, i.e. our ork asks to borrow the car and make the guy forget the last 10 minutes.

Best Heroes ever, right!?

So we make it to Mexico City to see it surrounded by an 80 foot tall wall of skulls, with spiral clouds over it, and the gates are made of stretched skin and human rib cages. Just another vacation to Mexico, right? We drop off our troll into the sewer system where he fights several 20 foot Incan alligator men. There are two guards on a particular gate, they pop our tire and we kill them queitly and cut a hole in the gate, and see death and destruction everywhere. We also have to kill two children who are eating some dead woman (they had needle teeth, they we're EVIL). Which Ishmael does alone. We all head to the center, Ishmael has a desert eagle grapnel to allow the okoid to follow him as he free climbs the skull wall (which naturally spirals in toward the center of the city, accompanied by an Aztec temple made of skulls). We meet up and see 200,000 chanting people arond the temple and that the troll has killed a sizeable spot of them, so Ishmael fired the grapnel into the wall and jumps off and proceeds to kill lots and lots of "people" while the orkoid goes straight for the alter on the temple pyramid.

On the pyramid he kills some guy in a business suit, magic fire breath, with a magic lapis lazuli gem, and his two naked guards with obsidian spears. There was a live sacrifice there, but he killed that guy too. On our way out the troll and Ishmael find a pinto and attempt to ride it out, but lightning starts striking out of the now think overcast clouds and popping out the hearts of the people. Oh the large group of people, they're fighting amongst themselves now. As we go to pick him up he declares himself a god.

Pretty much my reaction.

So with the troll driving roll at a natural 1, the GM rolling for saving grace a natural 1, Ishmael who was standing on the hood of the exploding pinto (magically going 60mph) in his invincible yet immobile pose (thanks to super Pope sixth chakra locking mojo) flies off the hood at the "heretic", spends a fate point for "killing strike" and rolls 10 degrees of success (making it practically infinite damage, by a small stretch of a rule). The GM allows him to take an action before I hit him and he barely beats me at Persuasion versus Willpower (I forgot to add Resistance (Psychic Powers)) so I forget why I hit him with the flat of my blade that sends him flying a couple hundred feet unconscious. He toughs it out through that system's resolution and is caught by some of his followers.

The Lightning doesn't stop and the troll and Ishmael wonder why, look at the ork and wonder if he knows why. He lies, we catch him and force it from him, and try to melt it. As it burns it is claimed by a spirit in the lightning bolt and the genious troll rune priest binds the spirit. Which was a 40 foot tall ghost of a frost giant. He gives us the low down on what he's been doing and why. He was trying to harvest enough souls to resummon Quetzalcoatl, the Aztect serpent destroyer god. We finish with him ant the troll absorbs his soul, gains a second head, doubled intelligence and grows 2 feet. I wonder why I work with these two...

Something similar.

What we didn't know was tat we'd unwittingly helped him. While the others begin absorbing more souls with equaled size or raw magic power for a cursed sword. Ishmael knees down at the pinnacle of the pyramid tower, plants his holy crusader's sword and calls down an Archangel (Michael to be exact), soon this draws some attention and the serpent god descends about the time we all enter super PC mode.

Ishmael begins doing super damage and begins cutting open the winged snake while speeding off a Mach 4, the troll stuns a god for one turn and the ork expends all is mana on one shot to blow a hole in the head of a god. Taking him of of the fight but making old Quetz regret coming to his old neighborhood again. Super damage continues, and the troll chains just the god's head in a point, literally unmovable by anything. The next turn rips off the body as Ishmael punches the head into space.

The bodu destroys most of mexico, and sends a tsunami towards Africa, Ishmael uses the rest of his power to halt the one going in the Pacific.

Game over.